1. The Control Freak
Many women have had their lives turned
upside down by a control freak. He has an
overwhelming desire to control every detail,
even when it’s out of his hands—be it the
weather, traffic or your life. True, women
like a guy that is manly, but manly isn’t the
same as domineering. Before you know it,
you soon start to lose your identity and
become a creation of his. That isn’t love; it’s
a dysfunction and you need to believe it.
2. The Abuser
A control freak will almost always become
an abuser, but not all abusers start out as
control freaks. In fact, abusers are usually
nice guys until their anger kicks in. How
many times have we heard an abused
woman say, “He’s not like that o. It’s only
when he’s angry that he lashes out”? If a
guy belittles you, tells you you’re worthless,
or insults you, that is abuse. If he forces
you to do things you’re not comfortable
with, that’s abuse. It may initially look like a
temper issue, but physical abuse soon
follows, and no woman deserves that. Do
not date an abusive man—no matter how
alternately nice he is.
3. The Man-child
He doesn’t have to be younger that you are
as many women assume that men younger
than them are automatically immature. He
could be much older but his brain is stuck in
adolescence, thinking like a 13-year-old and
always craving your validation. Being in a
relationship with this man will always leave
you drained, because it’s feels like you’re
raising a child.
4. The Ghost.
You see him only when he wants to be
seen. One minute he’s doting on you and
everything’s peach; the next, poof! He
vanishes and you can’t reach him by phone,
text, BBM, mail, tweet— nothing! He’s not
dead; he simply does not want to be
reached. This is 2012—there’s a way to stay
in touch if you want to. Forget his elaborate
explanation when he does reappear, all na
wash. He definitely has another life that he
doesn’t want you to be part of
5. The Unambitious.
If a guy cannot say what his goal in life is,
strike his name off the list. Waiting for his
grandfather’s will is not an ambition, neither
is playing the visa lottery every year. The
country is hard, but that doesn’t mean we
cannot have workable dreams, no matter
6. Mr Chop my money.
All he has is money. Not character, finesse,
values or even an education. Just money.
Unfortunately as women very well know,
money isn’t everything; this guy can buy
you fine things but he can’t treat you with
sensitivity. Being with him will cause you to
live a life of quiet desperation.
7. The Fairy-tale prince.
Everything you ever prayed for, even
things thatyou know yourself are
unrealistic; this guy has it all. He’s handsome
caring, attentive, charming, well dressed,
tasteful, generous—in short, he’s flawless.
You feel he’s too good to be true and he
probably is. All men have flaws, but this
man doesn’t have any? It’s all an act. Once
he’s had his fill of you, the charade stops
and you see his true self. To him it’s a game
and he enjoys the thrill of the chase, the
delightful deceit and the abrupt end.
Nobody said men were emotional creatures
but some do and relish the chance to
practise their adroitness.
8. The Guy who just doesn’t want you.
There are guys whom you like and no
matter how you try, they simply don’t want
YOU. They could be taken, gay or blind.
Rejection hurts, but it’s part of life. Move on.
While you still have your dignity, in God’s
name, move on.